I’ve never had regrets of being an ensemble member…until now
This is probably one of the hardest decisions i had to make…a dilemma that needs immediate resolution..will i give up my love for singing because i got tired of someone treating me like..whew.. I feel like hell, like the world is on my shoulders, i don’t want to carry this burden anymore but, i couldn’t decide!!!!!!
I spent two years being a member of this organization and i treated it as a way to relieve me from my daily stresses in life. I finally got something to put my attention into, something that i "thought" i was worthy to do. It became a part of me. And after two years of music and sacrifice, it finally hit me. I didn’t belong. Why am i still there? Why did i kept on forcing myself into that place? Darn it. Right now, i feel so stupid. Pinagpalit ko banda ko sa choir, naiiwanan ko mga kaibigan ko para sa choir…I used to think that it was all worth it; all my efforts are worth it. Music is a part of my life and i would never ever let it go in just a snap. Maybe I spoke too soon. I thought I was in the right place, i thought i was finally somewhere that I was treated right, i felt like i existed.. i used to have so much fun…used to…I don’t want to leave because for me, it is one commitment that i shouldn’t give up..
But right now, that "commitment" is the only thing that keeps me from going…finally.
